i have been blogging soooo much lately. i have been lagging on blogging; so i can't miss a single one. i really need to start doing more outside writing. i hate doing OW because it takes FOREVER! it might only be six pages but you run out of things to talk about real fast. and i no you can write about stupid stuff like: writing about writing. but then you still can't really think of anything to write because writing about writing is BORING. but i need to push myself to do it because i REALLY REALLY need to pass creative writing . it makes up for my engliosh 4 class. if i don't pass i think i would have to go to night shool?? idk? do they even have night school? hope my final goes well!

getting older good/bad?

i really want to be the big 18 so i can do what i want.
i'll have that feeling of being an adult:
-making my own decisions.
-not having a curfue.
-not being told i can't go somewhere.
but then then again i don't want to be 18.
-don't want responsibilities
-don't want to pay bills
-not financially ready to face the real world.
-unprepared
-dazed
-scared
-not ready to grow up "/

smoke and drank

we smoke to get high
to pass the time by
to feel like we can fly

as high as a kite
to make everything alright
to always take flight
man are you ight

smoke that dank
skunk stank
i need a drank

we drink to have fun
to get wasted and spun
pain; there is nun

it makes us spin and fall
and lose control of it all

always wanting to toke
because you don't want to be a joke
and they say we shouldn't drink or smoke!

great tit

i was watching animal planet today and it was showing a bird and the birds' species name was "great tit." i heard the name but it kind of slowly processed through my head. then i was rollin'. then i googled it just now and went on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Tit nd it said shit like: "japanese tit,"  "cinereous tit." lets just say it says the word tit a lot. i have one question? who the hell named this bird? sorry 2 questions? why the hell did you name it great tit? did we run out of bird names or did this guy just like tits a lot?? lol.

I'm hella bored. don't know what to write about? any suggestions...? no? Alright well, today was a good day. Didn't have work. Didn't go to first period. Annoying ass dad bitchin' at me! can't wait till i'm 18!!! then get out of this fuckin house! yee!

AIR HEADS

I love air heads. i'm not talking about dumb girls even though i love them too. haha. i'm talking about the candy. i like the strawberry ones, the watermelon ones, and the blueberry ones. i also like the mystery ones too but only if there strawberry, watermelon, or blueberry. i don't like the apple ones really. i could eat them if i really wanted candy though. i wonder why they call them air heads? is it because they fead it to dumb people? is that why i'm eating it? hmm...

i hate the rain
its so damn cold
its filled with pain
it just won't fold.

my covers wrap me tight
warmth makes me happy
i wish for sunlight
this weather is really crappy

when will this misery stop?
i am going crazy
my minds about to pop
its gettin' kinda hazy

my vision is gettin blurry
i need to lie down
i am in a hurry
to really leave this town

i don't know what i was thinking
so many things in my head
i just neeed to be laying
cus rain makes me go to bed

not my mom...my mother

i cant believe i trusted u again...but no more. you say you love me, you say you care but those are just words. words from you. A liar. A fibber. A perjurer. i always come last on your agenda. you never loved me. you would rather sniff that line than do anything with me. when i was little you would always tell me you would come and pick me up, and EVERYTIME i believed you. i guess i was a dumb little kid because everybody told me that you would lie. you never gave me presents for my birthday or christmas but the thing that hurt the worst was you werent there at all. i hated you! i never wanted to call you mom and why should i have? you were never a mom to me. then for the first time i started trusting you again. but you FUCKED that up. dont tell me your going to visit me before you move to L.A. and then flake on me to go do a line with your boyfriend. i will never trust you ever again. you fucked my life up but theres one thing i will thank you for. for giving me to my dad, my real dad, even though he is not my father. he man-ed up and raised me, knowing i wasnt his. And all of this is why you will only be a mother to me...

why?

why do people lie? why do people cry? why do people die? why cant we share? why can't there always be good days? why cant i write with both my left and write hands? why are we here? why are you there? why is anybody anywhere? why do we fight? why do people flake? why are people fake? why do people take? why am i rhyming when this is not a poem? WHY DO WE ASK "WHY?"

work

I really hate waking up early and going to bed late. It fucking sucks! But i got to do what i got to do. I wake up early, well because I'm 17 and I go to high school. Then right after school I go home for maybe 5-10 minutes. Then its off to work for me. I work at Taco Bell on Northgate. I work endless hours, well it seems that way. I have work experience, which is a class, and it allows me to work up to 30 hours a week rather than 20 like normal students with jobs. It seems like I don't have time for anyone or anything. And sometimes I get hella fucking fustrated, especially having homework. I don't want to do homework after I have been busy for countless hours. I'm so exhausted all of the time, and I love to sleep in. The thing that really sucks is that i open at Taco Bell on Sundays so that means i have to be at work at 8 in the mourning. I hate it so fucking much. It means that I have to wake up early 6 days a week instead of 5. Some days its so overwhelming that I can't concentrate in class. And when I get overwhelmed I start to panic and then everything starts to annoy me.

This weekend I got my first tattoo ever! It's not completely done yet but it will be soon. My sister-in-law did it for me. I was really nervous to get it but really happy at the same time. The sound of the gun was kind of annoying. It didn't really hurt it just felt like someone was repeatedly scratching me. It is a black tribal tattoo. I really like it and it also fits me because I'm asian. I really don't want to show people at school until it's completely finished. I don't know why I don't want to show people at school because I already showed people at my work. I already know that people are going to talk shit on my tattoo but i don't care. It's my body and I can put anything on it I want. I want more tattoos but don't know what I want yet. Even though I said I didn't want to show people at school, I probably will. So everybody that goes to my school you guys will see tomorrow.