getting older good/bad?

i really want to be the big 18 so i can do what i want.
i'll have that feeling of being an adult:
-making my own decisions.
-not having a curfue.
-not being told i can't go somewhere.
but then then again i don't want to be 18.
-don't want responsibilities
-don't want to pay bills
-not financially ready to face the real world.
-unprepared
-dazed
-scared
-not ready to grow up "/